when we forget

where is it written that a life that is formed in a womens body is soley that of the woman .The man that help create this cell it isnt a life yet i guess because we dont carry the cell or embryo and we some how will soon let the woman raise the child on there own . we dont have the right on the decission weather the cell is destroyed or not. Well this is a difficult situation for me because i am that man.But i dissagree totally with the assumption that a man that helped create the thing should not want it to survive even in the future if he wont be around. I care about all human life and when a man first hear that the woman he loves or like for a brief moment is pregnant they wish that the child will be better than they was. only for a moment when the woman decides to kill it we die too. it is hard to understand what a mother feels when careing the cell and even harder to know what they fell when the decission is finale. all i know is that every day that the aborted one is not here i feel dead. we sometimes wonder would the cell have been great we wonder why it had to be done. it is never easy but we wonder why did it have to die so my ass could live why wasnt it me.